Has to be more

My grandmother was born and raised in a small town in Georgia. 

No street lights. 

Everyone knew each other.

And you could count on your fingers all the police officers and firefighters. 

She often used to say to herself..

“There has to be more than this.”

And so the day after she graduated high school she moved to NYC. 

Lately I’ve been reading a lot about over consumption and people living in extreme poverty. 

What a deadly combo to engage in. 

Reading up on these topics has drastically changed me. 

In short, I don’t care about the things I used to care about.

The sneakers, the clothes, the latest, the greatest. 

I do not care.

Somehow I’ve realized what my grandmother realized over 60 years ago. 

There has to be more than this.

Everyday is a tribute

The Daily Tribute 

Today when I stood up and gave my seat to the woman carrying her baby..

I was tributing my mom. 

When I was walking with a female friend and walked on the side of the street closest to traffic..

I was tributing my mom. 

A few days ago when a stranger at the airport sneezed and I said “God Bless you”..

I was tributing my mom. 

That cold evening two months ago when I gave my sweater to the young lady I was with..

I was tributing my mom.

Everyday that I’m honest. 

I’m tributing my mom. 

Everyday I don’t steal. 

I’m tributing my mom. 

When I do my work the way it’s supposed to be done..

I’m tributing my mom. 

When I give 10% from every check..

I’m tributing my mom.

When I let women go first..

I’m tributing my mom. 

When I respect my elders..

I’m tributing my mom. 

When I say “please” and “thank you”..

I’m tributing my mom. 

Everyday that I write The Daily Tithe.

I’m tributing my mom.

Because everyday..

is a tribute to my mom.

My entire being..

is a tribute to my mom. 

And this..

This is a tribute to my mom.

Happy Mother’s Day. 

A new reason to earn more money

A new reason to earn more. 

But first let’s talk about the old reason. 

It used to be that I wanted to earn more so I could have more. 

More status, more respect, more power. 

More houses, more cars, more clothes. 

More Mandell, more I, more me. 

But lately I’ve been thinking about this new reason to earn more. 

This new reason one should develop their skills more. 

This new reason one should run their business better. 

What if this new reason is the reason we’ve been waiting for. 

The motivation we’ve needed. 

The cause, the purpose, and the why we’ve been searching for.

What if this new reason was the way to getting everything we want. 

Earning more to give more. 

For so long we were playing for keeps. 

But this time..

We’re playing for give. 

For so long we were waiting until we earned more to give.

But this time..

We’re earning more so we can..

give more.

How effective are you?

A few days ago I posted on my instagram stories..

“Reading is unlearning.”

“Traveling is unlearning.” 

It’s true..

and when you read, you also travel..

often to places you’ve never been. 

And once you arrive, you see things you’ve never seen.

My father has never been fond of giving to charities.

He believes the money is never sufficiently used for the people they claim it’s for.

“You give to these charities, and the CEO is making $3million a year.” 

Dad has a point. 

But there is another side to his point that I had never considered. 

Not until a few days ago. 

Reading and unlearning. 

Traveling and unlearning. 

Here’s a place I’ve never been. 

Here’s something I’ve never seen. 

I don’t think my dad has either. 

Suppose there is a CEO of a major charity.

This charity helps children who are vitamin A deficient get their eyesight back. 

The CEO decides to forgo her salary, allowing the charity to donate more of the proceeds to restoring the eyesight of young children.

In each year this CEO has led the charity, the charity has always raised at least $1million a year. 

The equivalent of 1,000 children being able to see again. 

Now suppose the board decides its time for a change, they want to bring in a new CEO, but the new CEO is the kind of CEO my dad has never been a fan of. 

This CEO is asking for a salary of $3million a year. 

The board hires her anyway..

and guess what happened in the first year of her leadership..

the charity raised $20million dollars. 

The equivalent of 20,000 children being able to see again.

And now you see something you’ve never seen before.

Not me whining again

The associate in the wine store this morning knew nothing about what I was asking about. 

How unfortunate. 

For me, her, the business, and every other customer who might have a question. 

She didn’t even try. She didn’t care. 

But it did get me thinking..

The more knowledgeable you are about the product you’re selling, the higher the chance of you selling your product, and selling more of it.

The more knowledgeable you are, the higher the chances of you knowing what people want and being able to give it to them.

Think about the waiter or bartender who knows the menu inside out. 

Their knowledge leads you to trusting them. 

And nothing travels faster than the speed of trust. 

In the business world there’s a popular saying.. 

“Everyone is in sales”. 

Everyone is in the business of selling. 

I think there’s a gift we can add to business. 

However it’s none transactional. 

Generosity. 

Everyone is in generosity. 

And generosity doesn’t begin when the customer is in your face. 

Nor does it end when you close the sale. 

It begins at home. 

It begins at the library. 

It begins before and after the office is closed.

And then it begins again..

Because there is no end to generosity. 

Not in business and not in life.

Not a story about a radio

If I were a radio salesman, this is a story I’d tell:

“My name is Tibandiba Lankonade and my daughter is called Mariéta. Three years ago my wife let Mariéta sleep outside while she went to work in the fields. When she came back Mariéta had a high fever. 

I consulted traditional healers and spent most of my money on traditional remedies and medicine bought at the market. But nothing worked and on the sixth day she fell into a coma. 

That night a neighbor came to visit and he was listening to his portable radio. That's when I heard a message on the radio explaining how to recognize the symptoms for malaria in children and saying that parents should take them immediately to the health centre. 

As soon as I heard it I took her straight to the health centre. 

They told me she has severe malaria. 

They treated her and after a week she recovered. After we got back from the health centre the first thing I did was buy a radio. Since then the radio and I have been inseparable. My daughter is now four. Everyone calls her “the child of the radio.” If I hadn’t heard the radio message she wouldn’t be alive today.”

After reading this story I tried to figure out which hurt more. 

Mariéta’s severe case of malaria, or the fact that her father didn’t know there was a cure?

and..

Which felt better, knowing there was a cure, or having your neighbor there when you need them most?

This might be too early..

Mother’s Day is only a few days away. 

And shortly after will be Father’s Day. 

If you were to ask me the greatest lesson my mother ever taught me..

I’d say tithing. (7:30 mark)

When mom taught me tithing, she taught me giving.

When she taught me giving, she taught me the value in not holding on to everything. 

When she taught me the value in not holding on to everything, she taught me how to consider others. 

And..

“On & On”..

like Erykah Badu..

The gift keeps giving. 

If you were to ask me the greatest lesson my father ever taught me..

I’d say how to save and invest. 

When dad taught me how to save and invest, he taught me contentment. 

When he taught me contentment, he taught me not to worry about what others have or think. 

When he taught me not to worry about what others have or think, he taught me how to think long term. 

And..

The music is still playing.

But if you played this song backwards..

Or..

Opened this gift from the inside out..

What you will see is that..

Dad taught me how I could do what mom taught me..

Best. 

Helping me become a better giver.

Isn’t it amazing how parents can work together?

Family meeting family circle. (Pt2)

I remember being in Ghana, constantly sitting in circles. 

Every time someone joined the circle, there was a formality or a ritual said. 

Unfortunately, because they were speaking in a different language, I didn’t understand what was being said. 

But one day it was explained to me..

As a formality, when someone enters the circle, they greet everyone, ask how everyone is doing, and then they state their reason for coming.

Mostly their reason was simply to join the conversion. 

But sometimes there was an issue raised that they wanted to discuss, and resolve.

Purpose and Intent. 

Everything we do. 

Why am I here?

Why have I chosen to join this circle? 

Do I want to join in where they’re going

Or 

Am I asking to take them on a different journey? 

Purpose and Intent. 

Everywhere we go.

I am here to serve. 

I am here to help. 

I am here to give.  

I hope I am welcomed into your circle.

Constantly crushing my dreams

It’s been great. 

I’ve been constantly crushing my dreams. 

Houses. 

Cars. 

Private Jet. 

Billionaire. 

The latest. 

The greatest. 

The most expensive. 

More. more. more.

Check. check. checks.

Finally..

I’ve crushed my dreams.

And I’m dreaming a new dream.

A better dream.

A dream bigger than me. 

Whether my eyes are open or eyes closed..

I see it.

My dreams have changed. 

The things I used to care about, I don’t care about anymore. 

The things I used to want I don’t want anymore. 

The things I thought were important aren't important to me anymore. 

Those dreams have been crushed. 

And all I have now..

is the biggest dream I’ve ever dreamed.

And to think..

all I had to do, was give up..

my old dreams.

Can you feel the possibility?

In Ghana I saw a father & son leave their home to go fill buckets with water.

I saw children outside bathing in bowls the same size as the one in my kitchen.

I saw a school with no windows, no doors, no fans, and no a/c -in 90+ degree weather. 

I saw a young boy who didn’t go to school because “my father said we should build cassava”.  

As I sit here and reflect..

I keep asking myself if it's possible. 

Is it possible for things to be different for that little boy & his father? 

Is it possible for those children to one day experience a better way to bathe? 

Is it possible for that school to have windows? 

Is it possible that Senna could go to school? 

It’s possible..

It’s True.

&

It’s worth it.

Do you feel it?

The secret to sleeping peacefully

Martin H Bauman died peacefully in late 2015. 

After serving in the army he started a successful job placement company, finding top executives positions around the country. 

It wasn’t until the 1990’s when Bauman’s company experienced its first money losing year in three decades. 

To keep from having to fire anyone, Mr. Bauman called his employees into a meeting and asked them to accept a 10 percent reduction in salary. 

They all agreed. 

Then he quietly decided to give up his personal salary until his company was back on safe ground. 

A sacrifice no one would have known about, were it not for the company's bookkeeper.

Reading this story reminded me of “Leaders Eat Last”. 

I was also reminded that leaders give first. 

I wonder what Mr. Bauman’s staff knew about him.

I have the same wonder for each of them..

What would make them accept such sacrifice? 

For the sake of the company?

Mr. Bauman? 

Or each other? 

Quite possibly all three.

An idea you can steal

Today I thought of a cool business idea. 

Well, at least I think it’s a cool business idea. 

It might actually already exist. 

Let’s say you have something in your house you’re no longer using. 

A sneaker. A bag. A painting.

And let’s say you don’t want to throw it away. 

It's worth more than the trash. 

But you’re not motivated to sell it because..

1.  You don’t really need the money.

2. The money isn’t worth your time and the hassle. 

Now, what if there was a place you could list your item, and whoever was interested would pay your asking price, but..

The money wouldn’t go to you. 

Instead..

It would go to one of the effective charities listed. 

Is the item now worth getting rid of? 

Is helping feed a hungry child worth more than the trash? 

How about supplying clean water for an entire village? 

Is it worth your time and the hassle? 

Never mind me starting the business..

You already have all you need. 

It’s yours.

You have to remember you too

During my time in Ghana, one thing that was very apparent..

was how hard the women worked. 

From sun up to sun down they were constantly doing..

Preparing food.

Cooking food.

Serving food. 

Cleaning up after the food was eaten. 

Doing laundry. (by hand). 

Hanging up the laundry to dry. 

Folding laundry once it dried. 

Oh would you look at the time!

Preparing lunch. 

Cooking lunch. 

Serving lunch. 

Cleaning up after everyone ate lunch. 

Did I mention this was all done while..

feeding babies.

Carrying babies.

Putting babies to sleep. 

Oh look! 

It’s time for dinner. 

You get the picture. 

And then the weekend.. 

The family reunion. 

Have you ever cooked for 100+ people? 

No stove. No oven. 

All outside. 

Wood. Sticks. Matches. 

And at the same time you’re still cooking breakfast for everyone at the house. 

And serving. And cleaning. 

ok..

Finally, after all that work..

The reunion..

and they served all the food. 

And here comes the next day..

maybe the most telling. 

It was full of the type of giving and generosity that is often overlooked.

The women stopped all the doing..

all the cooking. 

all the cleaning.

They stopped being the hardest working women I had ever seen.

Instead..

They took a break. 

They got some blankets, laid them out in the backyard, and had a picnic. 

They gave a gift to themselves. 

They refilled their cups. 

And that's when I knew..

These women really know how to give.

Never chase the difference

A few years back I read an amazing book..

“Never Split The Difference”

A book on negotiation. 

Recently, while thinking about giving and generosity I heard..

“Never chase the difference”

It’s easy to get into a tit for tat game. 

A you do for me I do for you game. 

A hey wait a minute you owe me game. 

But what would it mean for you and for your giving..

If you never chased the difference. 

If you took your generosity serious.

If you never played those games. 

You gave because you wanted to. 

Because you are a generous giver. 

You are not chasing paybacks. 

You are chasing more opportunities. 

There’s a difference. 

Be mindful of your negotiations. 

The negotiations you have with yourself about why you shouldn’t. 

You are talking yourself out of it. 

Instead.

Talk yourself into it.

The difference is a gift..

that is freely given.

Who me? Yes. You.

Imagine yourself sitting in a crowd.

Now imagine someone standing up ahead.

It looks like they are looking at you…

waving you forward.

“Who me?”

Now imagine you’re sitting alone.

Up ahead is an entire crowd waving you forward.

No question if it’s for you this time, you’re the only one. 

The hungry. 

The poor. 

The incarcerated. 

The homeless. 

The unclothed. 

The mistreated. 

They are the crowd. 

And they are waving you forward. 

‘Who me?”

Yes. You.

We are all invited

Speaking of phrases used in Ghana..

“You are invited”..

is another.

These aren’t foreign words of course, but the way they were used was new to me. 

I remember being befuddled the first time I heard..

“You are invited”..

in the way it was used.

I came out the house, and a member of the family was sitting down eating.

She looked at me and said..

“You are invited”

I’m invited? 

To what? 

Is someone going somewhere? 

Is someone having an event? 

What exactly am I being invited to? 

And then she gestured towards her food and said..

“I am having dinner, and you are invited.” 

Ah..

But having just eaten, I declined. 

However, I was still confused.

The woman who had just invited me knew I had just eaten.

A few days passed.

This time I was in the village.

Again I was coming out of the house.

Again I had just eaten.

And again I was invited. 

Another family member was having dinner when he saw me passing by.

“You are invited.” 

This time I understood. 

Well..

Partly. 

Because just like the first family member, he knew I had just eaten. 

And then it dawned on me. 

It’s a custom. 

An invitation. 

I didn’t have to accept, but the offer is always there. 

For you too.

“You are invited” 

To give.

To be generous. 

To bring about change. 

Even if you just ate. 

The invitation is always there.

Like the problem that can use your help..

Like the change that needs to be made..

Like those who could benefit from your gift.

You are invited.

you take the lead

During my last visit to Ghana there was one phrase repeated time and time again. 

In the beginning it left me confused, but after a while, I put it all together. 

At the family reunion one family relative came up to me and said..

“Mandell, no one is at home so I will take the lead.”

When I was heading to the village ahead of others..

“Oh Mandell, you are taking the lead.”

On the nights when we were hanging out late, right before going home, someone would stand up and say..

“I am taking the lead..”

“I am taking the lead.”

= Going first.

It’s about leadership, risk, and responsibility. 

It's about picking yourself..

and not waiting to be picked. 

Yes, I will go ahead. 

Yes, I will lead.

Yes, I will make a decision. 

As I look around, I can’t help but notice how many situations would benefit from individuals raising their hands and saying..

“I will take the lead.” 

No one has to ask me. 

I will step up. 

I will take it on. 

The next time you are aware of a situation lacking a leader..

a problem dying to be fixed..

I hope that you will..

family meeting family circle

I’ve sat in my fair share of circles, and..

during the 10 days I spent in Ghana..

Everyday was a circle. 

I sat in more circles in 10 days..

than the previous 10 years..

Everything was a circle. 

And then..

another circle. 

Circles for breakfast. 

Circles for lunch. 

Circles for dinner. 

Circles to discuss family matters. 

Circles to plan out the day. 

Circles to celebrate. 

Around and around we go. 

Not perfect circles..

But still..

Everyone gets a chance.

Everyone is heard.

Everyone can speak. 

It’s how we shared our food (and drinks). 

It’s how we shared the mic.. 

It’s how we shared our love. 

No one ever holds anything too long. 

Around and around we go. 

Until everyone has touched.. 

Makes me think..

We don’t need more stuff. 

Only more circles. 

Because somehow the circle reminds me..

It’s all here.

And each day when I think about all I we have..

I remember the circle. 

Around and around we go. 

Making circles..

and making them count.

Children are watching us

In Ghana, (as well as many countries in the developing world), head-carrying is very common. 

Adults and children use their heads as a means of transport.

One day, I saw my friend head-carrying. 

This precious little girl carrying an empty bowl on her head. 

Unlike most people head-carrying, she wasn’t working, instead she was playing. 

Laughing, jumping, and dancing as she carried this bowl on her head. 

No one told her to do it. 

She just did it. 

Throughout her entire life she’s seen countless individuals using their heads to carry things.

Mom, grandma, aunts, uncles, cousins, family friends, and strangers.  

And so, she just did it. 

Just like them. 

Somehow knowing she was a part of something. 

Something bigger than herself. 

Looking in the eyes of this precious little girl I thought about our lives as givers.

I thought about how much generosity we’ve learned (or not learned) from the people around us.

From what we’ve seen with our own eyes. 

And I thought about how much we can teach those around us. 

Not by telling..

simply, by doing. 

I thought about how much fun we can make generosity. 

Laughing, jumping, and dancing as we get to be a part of something. 

Something bigger than us. 

We don’t have to tell them. 

They are watching us.

And they will do what we do. 

So what are we giving them to carry?

Do it in reverse

We often come across individuals who shout from mountain tops..

shouting about everything they’ve ever given. 

They want the world to see & hear..

Look how much money I let my family borrow. 

Look how much I donated to the cause. 

Look how many friends I've supported. 

But what if the reverse was louder? 

What if instead we shouted from mountaintops..

about everything we’ve ever been given?

So the world could see & hear?

Look how much I’ve been given. 

Look how much others have blessed me. 

Look how fortunate I am. 

If we focus our shouting on what we’ve been given…………………..

+…………..

We might find that..

giving more is all we feel the need to do.