..and yet generosity remains.. (Pt. 2)

(continued from yesterday..)

And yet generosity remains. 

We are now standing in front of an entire family.

Saved.

A wife overcome with emotion and gratitude, pushing her baby in a stroller.

Just two weeks ago she was carrying her in her arms, screaming & crying..

“She’s going to die!!!” 

There too was their young son whom the father couldn’t find in their burning apartment.

In the midst of everything happening that was his toughest moment. 

Scared and afraid. 

His heart sank as he screamed out for his son.

Junior!!!

He assumed he had run out ahead of him and got caught up in the fire.

But we are standing in front of miracles. 

You could sense it in the air. 

Along with a great sense of indebtedness. 

“I owe you man. If you ever need anything, a car, a job, anything, I will do it for you.” 

But of course generosity doesn't owe.

But it does open doors..

for more..

generosity. 

And because of the generosity of one, I got a chance to be generous to a family I would have probably never met, I got a chance to hear a story I probably would have never heard, and I got to share it with you all. 

And yet generosity remains..

(to be continued) 

..and yet generosity remains.. (Pt. 1)

“This guy saved my life. My family..if it wasn’t for him..”

Overcome with emotion he could hardly find the words. 

Yesterday evening I was standing in Costco speaking with a friend from high school. 

He was sharing with me the pains & the joys of his experiences since his home in Yonkers burned down two weeks ago.

As we were speaking a gentleman approached us, looked in the face of my friend and said..

“You are the one”

In total excitement, both men stretched out their hands and embraced with a hug.

A hug so endearing I had no choice but to smile as I witnessed.

They were neighbors, from the same building that burned down two weeks prior. 

The first time they saw each other?

A little after 1am. 

The morning of the fire. 

My friend was escaping the fire when he realized the steps from his fire escape wouldn’t go down.

In the midst of the fire, the smoke, and the cries for help, he noticed a family trapped. 

He decided he was going to have to jump. 

From the 4th floor. 

But right before he jumped he kicked down a door. 

The door that allowed the man that was now standing in front of us to escape. 

But not only him, his wife, their 3mo old baby, and their young son. 

“You are the one”. 

“This guy saved my life. My family..if it wasn’t for him..”

Both men lost their entire homes that morning. 

Everything is gone. 

Yet generosity still remains..

(To be continued)

Do you remember your school janitor?

If you go on Google and type in “Ronald James Read” you will find an American janitor and gas station attendant. 

Ronald was born in rural Vermont. He was the first person in his family to graduate high school.

Ronald fixed cars at a gas station for 25 years and swept floors at JCPenny for 17 years. 

He bought a two bedroom house for $12,000 at age 38 and lived there until he died, 52 years later.

So why on earth did Ronald make International headlines in 2014? (the year he passed).

2,813,503 American died in 2014.

Fewer than 4,000 of them had a net worth of over $8million when they passed away. 

Ronald was one of them. 

In his will the former janitor left $2million to his step children and more than $6million to his local hospital and library. 

But where on earth did he get all that money? 

Ronald saved what little he could and invested in stocks. 

His tiny savings compounded.

Decade after Decade. 

Into more than $8million. 

From janitor & gas station attendant. 

To investor & philanthropist. 

Ronald made a decision..

the kind of person he was going to be and the kind of life he was going to live. 

Some believe philanthropy is reserved for a special few. 

That this type of generosity is reserved for a select group.

When instead, this type of generosity is available to all. 

For us. For you. For me. 

For anyone who picks themselves. 

Now, the next time you see a janitor, what will you think?

the light on you

Here’s how the joke goes. 

Someone gives $5 to a homeless man. 

Not for him. 

For themselves. 

They give hoping God would notice them. 

Trying to kickstart a blessing. 

“Look at me Lord, I'm a good person. Shine your light on me.” 

And all throughout the day they find a way to tell everyone they speak with how they gave a homeless man $5. 

“Hey, did you see the game last night?”

“No, I was too busy giving a homeless man $5.”

Quite serious..

this isn’t a joke. 

In fact, it happens everyday. 

Substitute $5 and the homeless man and you might see how often this occurs all around you. 

Someone gives something to someone with no intentions of helping anyone..

but themselves. 

To be seen by God or man. 

Hoping they’ll receive something in return. 

Praise, recognition, and possibly more blessings. 

The truth is, they are noticed. 

(There is their reward)

The very thing they wanted. 

They’re noticed for giving with the wrong intentions.

Much better might've been the reward of knowing they made a difference in someone else's life. 

You can’t pick your family

You can pick your friends. 

Here are three scenarios. 

1. You are told that one of your friends just donated a large sum of money to an effective charity. They put the donation in your name. You’re trying to figure out which friend did this, but you’re having a hard time. All of your friends are generous.

2. You are told by one of the most effective charities in the world that one of your friends just donated a large sum of money in your name. You know exactly which friend did this. 

3. You receive a call from Charity Water. One of your friends donated a large sum of money, providing clean water for an entire village in South Sudan. You know there has been a mistake. None of your friends are that generous. 

They say it’s important who you surround yourself with. 

You might become them. 

Now which group of friends would you choose?

And what if you can’t find those kind of friends? 

Be that kind of friend. 

And they’ll find you.

Doing good while you sleep

The stock market is cool.

We can make money while we sleep.

Having an online business is cool.

We can make money while we sleep.

ok money.

Great.

But what else?

Is it possible we can do good while we sleep?

The youtube video we put up.

Someone is going to watch it while we sleep.

The podcast we posted.

Someone might listen while we sleep.

Are they doing good?

A lot of people make a lot of money in their sleep.

At the same time they’re also misleading and manipulating people.

Some even responsible for modern day slavery.

What a nightmare.

But that’s not you.

And that’s not us.

That’s not the side of history we want to be apart of.

And so maybe before we decide to donate to the next charitable effort, support the next business, or release the next piece of content, we’ll ask ourselves.

Will this do good while I sleep?

What a dream.

Are you a hero?

Somebody's hero? 

Can you be? 

A creative hero.

A life hero. 

A kindness hero.

Or maybe..

A generosity hero. 

What would you have to do? 

What would you have to give? 

It takes courage to be a hero. 

And it takes courage to be generous.

yet..

Heroes aren’t reserved for a special class. 

For our parents & grandparents only. 

You can be a hero if you choose to be, if you decide to be.

I’m imagining you.

Today..

Being admired for your outstanding achievements.

Wow, what a hero.

It’s refreshing to see

I’ve been smiling for two days. 

Yesterday, not only did I do the thing I've been resisting. 

I also woke up to love notes. 

“I remember you.”

“Glad to see you.”

“We’d never give up on you.”

“Thank the good Lord you are back. Makes my heart glad.” 

“It’s refreshing to see”

And the shortest love note ever..

“Ok inbox”. 

What a gift.

And if that wasn’t enough..

This morning I spent time with my creative hero. 

It’s a term I actually learned from him while taking one of his workshops. 

In the last three years I’ve learned more from him than anyone in the world.

In fact, I started The Daily Tithe after learning (from him) the benefits of writing and publishing everyday.  

Yet, a few days ago it dawned on me that he is also my generosity hero. 

And today was further proof. 

While sharing a piece of his chocolate, I got a chance to let him hear how much I’ve learned from him. 

Things like not eating cheap chocolate and choosing bean to bar chocolate only. 

Oh, the irony. (full circle moment)

We also got to listen to music together. 

He introduced me to Diana Krall and I introduced him to Maverick City Music. 

What a time to be alive! 

But mostly we spoke about me. (uncomfortable)

My work. My potential. 

What am I going to do next? 

How will I show up in the world? 

What are my next steps?

Some really hard questions. 

Put me on the spot, or as he’d say “the hook.”

And there was nowhere for me to go..

except to honesty. 

And this is why he is my generosity hero. 

In what world does a 21X bestselling author, one of the greatest teachers of our time, and a living legend take time to sit with me, for me? 

Only in a generous one. 

In what world does a marketing hall of famer, writer of one of the most influential blogs in the world, and an actual genius, set aside time to help me see the kind of generous work I am capable of? 

Only in a generous one. 

A generous world in which he is leading. 

A generous world in which he is also saying, we can lead together. 

When I got home I tried to think of how I could ever repay him. 

Leading, making change happen, and paying it forward, was all I could think of. 

I look forward to future years, when I meet with a young me.

A chance be as generous as I can be.

A bonus: As I left his office, Seth so graciously gifted me an early copy of the pictured booklet. (Free copies are available to anyone when who purchases his upcoming book “Song of Significance” here). 

P.S. Of course I devoured it and felt so inspired I emailed him some of my thoughts. 

Do you remember me?

I did something today that I haven’t done in a long time. 

In fact, I’m doing it right now.

Writing to you. 

I started The Daily Tithe in an effort to use everyday stories to help people become better givers. 

Yet, I can admit, I haven’t always given myself the best. 

It’s been six months since we last spoke. (Happy New Year!) 

I don’t have a good excuse. 

My plate was full and so I took writing to you off. 

Easy decision.

Bad decision. 

Easy because doing emotional work isn’t easy.

Bad because this is my work. 

My work that I shouldn’t put down. 

My work that wouldn’t let me rest until I picked it back up. 

My pen..

“When will you pick me up again?”

“When will you write again?” 

“When will you give to them again?”

They’re looking for you. 

And so here I am. 

Pen in hand.

I’ve surrendered. 

Back to do the hard work.

Back to do the emotional work. 

Back to help people become better givers. 

I am also people.

Thank you for being here when I got back. 

It’s so good to speak with you again. 

See you tomorrow.

Who’s more curious than you?

A few days ago I was texting with my former altMBA classmate Peter. Peter is a polymath. And one of the things he does is teach. From a previous conversation I knew he was helping build Great Minds Virtual School, where he is the Director of Brand Experience, and so I asked, “How’s the school going?” 

“I’m teaching the Curiosity Club which is tons of fun.”

“Insane!” I replied

“Who's more curious than Peter?”

His response was very humbling.

“I think you are.” 

As it turns out, back in May I sat down with another polymath, Dr. Nadine Kelly for her podcast Health Raisers. Nadine and I have coached together in multiple sessions of the altMBA, and she is someone I am a fan of and absolutely enjoy working with. 

In this episode we talk about Intellectual Health and Wellbeing- “Curiosity”.

Practicing curiosity and making it a verb. 

And of course I share personal stories about my curiosity journey, some of which were painful and I’ve never shared before. 

Here’s to the curious ones.

If you see any tears, they are all happy

As I write, I feel mom staring at me through the picture you see above. 

This is a celebratory letter. 

These are celebratory words. 

And that’s a celebratory smile. 

Look at her. 

Mom is proud of me. 

On November 11th, 2020 I signed up for Akimbo’s Story Skills Workshop, taught by Bernadette Jiwa. 

My goal was to learn how to tell business stories.

One day during the workshop we were asked to share a story.

I remember sitting and thinking..

What is the softest, fluffiest, most impersonal story I can tell? 

I just want to learn how to tell a story. 

Just teach me how to tell a story. 

But I don’t want to actually tell a story. 

There I was, thinking..

What story could I possibly tell?

Knowing deep down there was only one. 

But I never told that story. 

That story makes me afraid. 

It’s so personal. 

What if it makes me cry? 

It’s my story and now I’m being asked to give..

But it was time..

Yet it’s the same time I felt most afraid.

I remember my heart racing. 

Feeling the fear within. 

The chills.

The goosebumps. 

Still..

I reached deep down and unsuppressed the story that so desperately wanted to be written. 

There.

I did it. 

I danced with fear and used it as my compass. 

The massive weight was now lifted.

I’ve been freed to do so many incredible things.

It took courage to write that story. 

and 

I received all the more. 

The fear led to courage and that courage has led me ever since. 

Thank you.

Soon after the workshop ended, I was contacted by Akimbo's Provost.

She offered me an opportunity to return as a coach. 

Since that time I’ve coached in each of the last five sessions, having the opportunity to coach well over a thousand students. 

And then October 11, 2021 happened. 

I was once again emailed by our Provost, but this time she was offering me the opportunity to take a step up and become the Head Coach for our September 22’ session. 

What if I never gave my story? 

What if I held on as if it couldn’t help others (or myself).

What if I never followed the fear? 

9-11 would be so much different for me. 

But here it is, 9-11

And I’m celebrating. 

Celebrating the life of my beautiful mother. 

Celebrating the fact that I can write you this letter.

And celebrating all the good that has emerged from a world shaking emergency. 

This is a celebratory letter. 

These are celebratory words. 

And that is a celebratory smile. 

Mom is proud of me.

If you see any tears, they are all happy. 

Look at her.

Are you writing this check tomorrow?

When’s the last time you wrote a check?

Think about it..

Wow..

Well..

Author & Rabbi Harold Kushner writes a check everyday as he sits down to write. 

Here’s why..

“The first thing I do when I sit down at my desk is write a check to charity. It’s a way of defining myself as a generous, helpful, and charitable person. With that sense of myself, I sit down to write.” 

Wow..

Well..

What kind of person do you define yourself as?

When’s the last time you wrote that check?

What if you did your work with that sense of self? 

“I am this kind of person..”

Therefore this is how I show up for my work. 

With the same hand & heart that wrote that check. 

Are you writing this check tomorrow? 

If not you, then who? 

you have not because you ask not- Part II

This morning I drove down to the city and gave a visit to the Leica store.

I finally gave in to purchasing a second battery for my camera. 

After my purchase I noticed a gentleman wearing a pretty cool camera shoulder strap. 

“Excuse me, mind if I ask where’d you get your strap?”

Turns out he purchased it years ago from the same store we were standing in. 

Unfortunately, the store no longer sells them, and the Japanese company that produced them, has since discontinued production. 

Well..

A nearby employee heard me asking. 

He walked over to a nearby cabinet and pulled out a white box. 

“It’s yours”. 

A free gift. 

All I had to do was ask. 

Well..

Mind if I ask you again?

P.S. - In case you missed it, here’s Part 1

smart people who talk to themselves

Growing up, whenever my mother caught me talking to myself she would ask..

“You know what they say about people who talk to themselves?”

Man, I wonder what she’s saying now. 

I always talk to myself.

I’m always telling myself a story. 

In fact, just last night I was talking to myself.

I had just finished writing "Only one family I want to be a part of" and I was telling myself it wasn’t worth it, and there was no point in writing and publishing The Daily Tithe. 

I was reminding myself things weren’t going as well as I hoped. 

And oh, nobody cares. 

Of course the story was/is untrue. It’s just the one I was telling myself.

I was feeling hopeless..

And then I started telling myself a different story. 

A better story. 

I reminded myself of the journey and the benefits of the work.

I let go of the need for external rewards and results. 

Still talking to myself, just a different talk.

And then..

Early this morning I was listening to Jay-z’s verse on “God Did” when something caught my attention. 

It was sticking out like a sore thumb. 

I heard it loud and clear. 

It was Jay-z’s ad libs. 

If you listen closely to the second half of Jay’s verse you will hear what I’m talking about. 

It’s Jay-z talking to himself. 

“Come on”

“Come on, Hov” 

Almost as if he was filling in the spaces with words that encouraged him to give more of himself. 

Adding to his gift.

Interestingly enough ad libs are done once the verse is complete. 

Once the work is done. 

It’s the words we add. 

Self talk. 

And of course as we’re doing our ad libs the only words we hear are our own. 

Self talk. 

“Come on”

“Come on, Man” 

“Come on”

“Come on, (insert your name here)”

Talk to you tomorrow. 

And me too. 

HOV did! 

Only one family I want to be a part of

I can’t believe “You can’t sit with us” 

is at an all time high,

In a world where loneliness is,

Seems backwards to me. 

Over there is a fashion family. 

They aren’t real. 

They’re make believe. Made up. Put together. 

But as long as you have the latest fashion, you can be a part of their family. 

Until, 

Tomorrow- when the new fashion drops.

Unless you keep up

“you can’t sit with us”. 

You have to keep up! 

w/us

w/the new things

that make life better.

Until, 

Tomorrow- when it gets old. 

But here’s a chance to belong forever. 

Here’s a chance to permanently make your life better. 

(Giving never gets old)

Here’s a chance to be a part of the one family you want to be a part of. 

The family that accepts you. 

For you, 

can

sit

with

us. 

Here’s a seat.

Only this one memory

I had a flashback. 

It came after writing "Always ready for memories".

I remembered when I was growing up, my father always had his camera with him.

I remembered all the times dad would walk in the living room and snap pictures of my mother, sister and I. 

Candids, surprises, holidays, birthdays, first days, graduations, and random days. 

Dad treated them all as if it was..

Only this one memory. 

Thursday afternoon I texted my father. I asked him about those days, and why he always had his camera. 

His response was surprising. I learned something I never knew.

About my own father. 

Here’s what he said:

“There are very few pictures of my younger years. I only have one picture of myself younger than 10 years old. There are also pictures out there of my late teens, but I don’t know where they are now. 

I wanted to capture those moments to remind me later when I’ve gotten old enough to forget.” 

And then, without knowing, he said four words that reaffirmed The Daily Tithe. 

“Pictures tell a story”

Did he know? 

Did he know that the pictures he took decades ago would be one of the cornerstones of his son's work? 

Did he know that even then he was giving me tools for an idea?

Dad took something he never had and gave it to his children. 

That was decades ago, yet somehow the gift is still giving. 

Imagine if I had..

Only this one memory. 

A flashback of my dad exemplifying what Giving Is Like. 

P.S. I once heard it said- the thing you never had, is the thing you give to the world. 

Thanks Dad.

P.P.S. To see more of what dad is giving to the world, you can give your email here.

Always ready for memories

A few weeks back I was reading an article by a photographer who stated he never uses his camera’s lens cap. He always wants to be ready to shoot. 

From experience he learned that some moments we can’t prepare for. The moment happens and if we are not prepared we miss it. 

The moment doesn’t stop to let you take your camera lens off. 

It just happens. 

In the twinkle of an eye. 

To be candid. 

You only get one shot. 

A few days after reading that article I was in Costco and noticed a young gentleman carrying a dslr camera on his shoulder. 

No case, no cover, no lens cap. 

I remembered the article and immediately began walking in his direction. 

Tyreik is his name, and he was with his two sons, Nas (named after his favorite rapper), Noah (named after the Biblical figure), and his wife. 

“This is my family” (a beautiful thing to see and hear). 

I asked Tyreik if there was a reason why he was carrying his camera in this way. 

He affirmed my assumption, and added a beautiful story. 

He purchased the camera from Costco five years ago when his oldest son Nas was born. 

To date, he has 12,000 pictures of his boys. 

12,000 memories. 

Always ready for memories. 

“You just never know”. 

As we were speaking Tyreik mentioned his father not being there and I wondered if part of capturing these moments with his family was a way of saying..

“I was there”

“I am here” 

Looking at both his sons and grabbing them by the head Tyreik said..

“I have pictures from when they were babies with no hair, all the way to today with their heads full of wooly hair. They don’t understand it now, but when they get older they’ll appreciate it.”

Dad was always there.

Always ready for memories. 

Which leads me to wonder, is Tyreik giving the gift or is he receiving the gift?

I can’t tell.

What Giving is Like.

P.S. If you look closely at the picture above, you will see over my father’s left shoulder a Nikon camera strap. Dad was always there.

Always ready for memories.

And if you are ready to join in memories with other givers, you can do so here.

EMOtional labor feels harder

This morning I jumped on my Peloton bike and was notified of two consecutive streaks. 

16 weeks straight + 21 days straight. 

Physical labor

is hard. 

Suddenly my mind peddled to my writing and publishing streaks. 

Surprisingly the streaks are about the same. 

Still, writing and publishing feels harder. 

Emotional labor. 

Jumping on my Peloton everyday has become easy, but writing and publishing everyday feels harder. 

I don’t have to convince myself into sitting on my bicycle seat and going for a ride, but sitting in my office chair to write?

Now that’s an entirely different story. 

There is nothing about my Peloton that scares me. 

But writing and publishing everyday? 

Feels scary. 

I don’t create anything on the Peloton. I don’t put anything out into the world. 

But once I sit in that chair to write, to create something that doesn’t exist, and put it out into the world- UGH!

The emotional labor. 

The conversations I have with myself. 

The stories I write in my head. 

What will other people say?

What will they think?

Is this good?

Am I wasting my time?

Who on earth do I think I am?

Back & forth

Back & forth

Over & over. 

It’s tiring.

Draining. 

Exhausting. 

The Peloton has nothing on this. 

Sometimes I need a break. 

I have to get out of my seat to breathe. 

WHEW! - This is a lot. 

Still everyday I have a meeting with my emotions, 

They are tied to these pages. 

Everyday I must engage them. 

My cares, my dreams, my desires, and my feelings. 

Sometimes I try to use the bike as an escape, but the pages wait for me. 

Starring me down

emotional labor calls for me. 

And every time I answer I am giving myself a gift. 

Back & forth

back & forth

over & over. 

Give me the most physically exhausting Peloton class and still

emotional labor feels harder.

But..

I can do hard(er) things. 

And..

I am worthy of the gift. 

You too. 

P.S. I started writing this this morning. It is now 11:21pm

emotional labor

feels harder. 

you just want to be appreciated?

Much praise to the dear friend who messaged me after reading yesterday’s post. 

Inspired by our conversation I wrote today’s Daily Tithe.

If you’re reading this, I appreciate you.

“I give with the mentality that I know I won’t get it back, but with the hope that the person appreciates it” 

“Am I trying to receive appreciation for the wrong motive?”

Some questions for us all. 

What if we gave with the mentality that we were going to get it back? 

Unsure of how, when, what, and from who, yet knowing in our unconscious mind it will return. 

Would that be ok?

Everyone wants to be and feel appreciated. 

Including me. 

Yet, I don’t think we should give to be appreciated. 

Still if we look around we might find some of us are giving as a means of compensating for appreciation we so desperately desire and lack in other areas. 

We want to be seen. We want to feel important. We want to be a part of something.

Someone. 

But you can’t buy appreciation and even if you could, appreciation is a cheap reason to give.

You do not receive

When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives. 

Remember what I said yesterday? 

“You have not because you ask not”

“Ask and you shall receive”

“All you have to do is ask”

What happened? 

Did I lie? 

What’s this motive thing about? 

I’m asking. 

I’m not receiving. 

Well it turns out there are two reasons we don’t receive. 

Reason #1- We don’t ask.

Reason #2- We ask, but with the wrong motives.

Well then, how does one ensure they’re asking with the right motives? 

Here’s a shortcut. A cheat code if you will. 

Are you asking so that you may spend what you get on your own pleasures? 

In other words, is it for you or for others?

Imagine if I asked you for $100 to fulfill one of my own pleasures. 

Would you give it to me?

Now imagine if I asked you for $100 in order to feed four young children who recently became homeless? 

Would you give it to me?

Here’s the gift: Some people ask to receive. 

And some people ask to give..

You do not receive, because you do not ask, “what can I do for others?”.

All you have to do is ask.