EMOtional labor feels harder

This morning I jumped on my Peloton bike and was notified of two consecutive streaks. 

16 weeks straight + 21 days straight. 

Physical labor

is hard. 

Suddenly my mind peddled to my writing and publishing streaks. 

Surprisingly the streaks are about the same. 

Still, writing and publishing feels harder. 

Emotional labor. 

Jumping on my Peloton everyday has become easy, but writing and publishing everyday feels harder. 

I don’t have to convince myself into sitting on my bicycle seat and going for a ride, but sitting in my office chair to write?

Now that’s an entirely different story. 

There is nothing about my Peloton that scares me. 

But writing and publishing everyday? 

Feels scary. 

I don’t create anything on the Peloton. I don’t put anything out into the world. 

But once I sit in that chair to write, to create something that doesn’t exist, and put it out into the world- UGH!

The emotional labor. 

The conversations I have with myself. 

The stories I write in my head. 

What will other people say?

What will they think?

Is this good?

Am I wasting my time?

Who on earth do I think I am?

Back & forth

Back & forth

Over & over. 

It’s tiring.

Draining. 

Exhausting. 

The Peloton has nothing on this. 

Sometimes I need a break. 

I have to get out of my seat to breathe. 

WHEW! - This is a lot. 

Still everyday I have a meeting with my emotions, 

They are tied to these pages. 

Everyday I must engage them. 

My cares, my dreams, my desires, and my feelings. 

Sometimes I try to use the bike as an escape, but the pages wait for me. 

Starring me down

emotional labor calls for me. 

And every time I answer I am giving myself a gift. 

Back & forth

back & forth

over & over. 

Give me the most physically exhausting Peloton class and still

emotional labor feels harder.

But..

I can do hard(er) things. 

And..

I am worthy of the gift. 

You too. 

P.S. I started writing this this morning. It is now 11:21pm

emotional labor

feels harder.