Become A Better Giver.
THE DAILY TITHE
You are too generous not to be selfish
“You are always thinking about others, when do you think about yourself?”
When I go to bed at 10pm.
When I wake up at 6am.
When I began my day with prayer and scripture.
When I go for a morning walk or bike ride.
When I’m mindful of what I eat and drink.
When I write.
When I read.
When I go to church.
When I travel.
When I say no, and stay home.
When I sign up to learn something new.
When I prioritize time with family and friends.
Oh, trust me.
I am selfish.
I am always thinking about myself.
But I have to..
That is the only way I can be as generous as I hope to be.
Without those things I wouldn’t have the energy.
The joy to.
The know how.
I’d be lost. Unclear. I wouldn’t feel right.
So instead,
I choose to be selfish with myself, so I can be generous to others.
It fills me.
And when my cup is full.
Giving is easy.
Two closing questions.
They are one and the same.
Are you being selfish enough?
&
Are you being generous enough?
(Ask them in whatever order you choose.)
From Martin Luther King to Creators
Reading..
“Letter From A Birmingham Jail”
I notice something..
Something often taught by great creatives.
“Write to one person.”
“Smallest viable audience.”
But..
We love BIG.
We love LARGE.
BIG house.
LARGE bank account.
We want to reach the masses.
We want it to be for everyone.
8 billion people on earth, and this is for them all.
We swing for the fences.
We miss the ball.
We try to reach everyone and lose sight of who it’s for.
But Martin Luther King did something different.
He wrote “Letter From A Birmingham Jail” to eight clergymen.
That was his audience.
That was his home run.
But as it turned out..
He wrote so well (to his audience of eight), that the New York Post published his letter to the masses.
King then submitted it to The Christian Century and it was ran in their magazine.
In fact, the editor “asked King if he’d consider deleting the names of the eight clergymen“ to broaden the impact of your remarks as much as possible, since we are convinced they apply to all of us to a considerable degree.”
King agreed.
The letter was circulated to additional publications. “Churches distributed it among members, as it became almost instantly famous.”
And here we are, 60+ years later..
Reading..
“Letter From A Birmingham Jail”
Alongside millions of others.
Not because it was made for them, instead, because it wasn’t.
Made by one, (made for eight), eight to millions.
But don’t overlook the middleman.
Think about them..
The next time you are offering up your work.
Your focus is a gift.
For you & for others.
How to properly evaluate your generosity.
You hit a home run.
But you didn’t even know.
You allowed yourself to get tripped up, losing sight of what really happened.
Your giving won’t always be perfect.
Sometimes you’ll wonder..
Did I give too much?
Did I give too little?
Was it offensive?
Was it inappropriate?
Back and forth you’ll go.
In your head.
Losing sight of what really happened.
You tried your best. You tried to do the right thing. Your intentions were pure.
Worst case scenario, you learned.
You became a better giver.
Stop tripping.
You hit a home run!
Do you want to know?
My goal is to make 2024 my most generous year.
But I have a small problem..
2024 will not be my most generous year.
Unless 2024 is filled with my most generous days.
In the end..
Small will surprise me.
between yesterday and today
If you weren’t generous with yourself yesterday..
there is good news..
If you weren’t generous with others yesterday..
there is good news..
Yesterday ended last night.
But let’s say you were generous yesterday with yourself yesterday..
Let’s say you were generous with others..
The truth still remains..
Yesterday ended last night.
What will you do today?
Generosity won’t be ending anytime soon
Generosity will always exist.
Someone will let a stranger skip them in line.
A co-worker will share their lunch with a colleague.
A writer will finish the book they’ve been working on.
As long as there are living species, generosity will be there.
The only question is, will you be apart of it?
The Routine before the Reward Pt.2
When I wrote Part.1 I was thinking about the next generation of givers.
I was thinking about raising a generous generation.
What happens before matters.
Meaning..
What happens now matters.
And then my friend Felencia sent me this message..
“I had my daughter read this one. We have been working on fine tuning her morning and after school routine. Thank you for this!”
My thinking was not in vain.
Showing up as your most generous self.
That is the reward for having a good routine.
When I follow my routine, I am up early, I am energized, and I am writing this.
I am my becoming a better communicator, and I am aiding in raising the most generous generation.
Routine first. Reward after.
That’s what my mother was doing.
When she taught me tithing at 7 years old.
She was saying..
Routine first. Reward after.
She was preparing me to be my most generous self.
To be apart of the most generous generation.
Or maybe help raise it.
The routine she gave me was simple.
Every time you receive. You give.
I have experienced all the rewards.
And then there’s the reward on top of the reward..
A mother seeing her son sticking to a routine she gave him.
Watching what it does for him and for others.
And so if you’re a parent, maybe reading TDT might be worth adding to your child’s routine. Maybe it’ll lead to a discussion. Maybe it’ll lead to more connection. Or maybe it’ll lead to a reward, that far outlives you.
Routine first. Reward after.
Thanks Mom.
P.S. In case your child has their own email address, feel free to share with them. I’d love for them to be apart of the greatest generation of givers.
The Routine before the Reward.
For the last couple of weeks I’ve been working on my morning routine.
During my fine-tuning process, one of the things I’ve noticed, is how much my morning routine is impacted by my evening routine.
What happens before matters.
If I go to bed late.
Doomed.
If I eat late.
Doomed.
The day becomes weak.
And the weeks becomes months.
And the months become a year.
A year in which I did not getting better.
Routine first. Reward after.
I think generosity works in a similar way.
Before the moment.
At night I go to bed full of gratitude.
And when the morning comes..
How could I not be a more generous person?
This becomes my giving routine.
My before the moment.
In the midst of a giving opportunity, consciously, and sometimes unconsciously, your decision will be based on what came before.
How were you raised?
What beliefs were you taught?
What results have you seen?
Think of the most generous person you know, they didn’t magically wake up that way.
Their success is in the before moments.
Routine first. Reward after.
(You are not doomed.)
You probably didn’t know this, but..
Thinking about thanking..
It would be kind of weird if a newsletter about giving said nothing on Thanksgiving.
This is the day.
This is the point.
Voicing thankfulness is one of the best ways to give.
&
One of the best ways to say thank you is by giving.
When you express your gratitude, you are also offering someone else a gift.
At the same time.
When you give thanks you give.
You show what’s possible.
As you share your thankfulness someone is listening with their heart wide open.
That exists!!?
That’s possible!!?
You are pointing toward possibility.
Shining a light on what can happen.
Your thankfulness is proof of existence.
Think of something you’re thankful for..
Someone doesn’t even know it exists..
Your thankfulness is hope.
Your open heart is opening theirs.
A Dream.
Someone has been trying for the healed relationships you’re so thankful for.
Now they know it’s possible.
Thank you.
Someone was hoping that happy long lasting marriages still exist. All their life they’ve only seen divorce. But now they know it’s possible. They heard your thankfulness.
Thank you.
Someone thought they had to wait until they arrived at some financial status before they could become their most generous self. But then they heard you, thankful for your most generous year - even though you haven’t reached your financial goals yet.
Thank You.
It’s one thing for you to tell me something happened for you.
It’s another thing for me to witness you grateful...
Now I know it happened, because of your Happy Thanksgiving..
P.S. I’m thankful for you, the reader. Who also doubles as the giver.
As I share with you, you share with me, and we share with others.
It’s possible to build community and connection online.
You are proof.
Thank you.
Bakery Bonds True Friends
A few days ago I attended a webinar hosted by the Baker’s Journal. The guest speaker was my buddy Mark Dyck.
Back when I was a student in The Story Skills Workshop, Mark was the Head Coach. Shortly after joining the coaching staff, I messaged Mark to see how I was doing. Mark shared nothing but amazing things, and encouraged me to continue to be myself.
His advice must've worked. Mark and I went on to coach in five sessions together before our roles reversed and I was the Head Coach. And as always, Mark was right there to help.
True Friends..
Also the name of a contest Mark ran at Orange Boot Bakery.
A bakery he owned alongside his wife Cindy.
True Friends..
Went something like this..
Anyone who made a purchase at the Bakery (between the dates given) was eligible to enroll.
Once the entry period ended, three winners were picked.
If you were one of the winners you received a basket filled with fresh bread.
Once you finished you gave the basket to your very best friend who would then bring the empty basket back to the bakery to be refilled.
Your best friend would do the same for their best friend, and on and on, this act of generosity would continue for one year.
How many baskets can we fill?
That was the question.
How many gifts can we give?
How much generosity can we spread?
How many connections can we make?
How much community can we foster?
True Friends..
Pass it along.
You can be who you want to be
You want to be happy.
You want to live a successful life.
You want your life to be significant.
Fulfilled.
To be known that you are here.
And after..
To be known that you were here.
And still felt..
Yes, you do.
You feel it right now.
You hope others will too.
It’s important to you..
A person of value.
Of importance.
Yes, it is.
This can’t be just another life.
Not yours.
Not you.
You can’t afford to waste creation.
Nor time.
No, you can’t.
John Maxwell..
“Selfish people aren’t happy people. They’re not fulfilled people. Selfishness and significance is incompatible. Significance is all about others. Selfishness is all about me. You can not give what you do not have. So you gotta have it to give it. But the problem is so many people have it, but they don’t give it. They don’t have a mindset to serve mankind. They just serve themselves. I’ve met a lot of unhappy successful people. I have never in my entire life met a person of significance that was unhappy. You show me somebody that is living their life for others and I’ll show you a very fulfilled person.”
So be happy.
Be fulfilled.
Be significant.
Be about others.
Give what you have.
Serve mankind.
Be successful.
&
Lastly, and often missed, sometimes, selfish, is the most unselfish thing.
That's my time.
Only you can start you
If you want a Kelly or Birkin bag you might be able to add your name to Hermès’s six year waiting list.
Wait..
Before you get your hopes up, Hermès has a ranking system that gives priority to previous clients.
(Don’t quote me on this, but I’ve heard Ferrari follows the same model.)
And recently I took a 5 day drawing class that was required before I took any of their 1 day drawing classes.
(This is sounding very college prerequisites.)
Yet, in our hands we have the beauties of giving.
Only you can stop you.
No waiting list & No prerequisites.
It’s already yours.
Wait..
Maybe there is one.
At least for the type of giving I’m referring to.
The kind that changes you.
You don’t have to wait to give.
You have to want to give.
For the right reasons.
So if you’ve been waiting..
Only you can start you.
It’s yours.
You can start small
Their bags have been worn by Queens, Princesses, and some of the most famous and wealthy people in the world.
But it wasn’t until 1922 that Hermés began taking the idea of producing and marketing handbags seriously.
85 years after the company was founded.
The idea came from Julie Hermès, the wife of Émile Hermès.
After hearing his wife’s bag complaints, Émile created one for her.
The handbag was a success and in 1925 a line of travel bags followed.
Which reminds me of Josh Wardle, knowing how much his partner loved word games, he created a word game for her enjoyment.
Shortly after..
Wardle sold Wordle to the New York Times for a seven figure amount.
“This is definitely how Josh shows his love.” - His partner, Ms. Shah
What about you?
How do you show your love?
A criteria you can try:
Skills to create..
something for someone..
you love..
that is also a useful gift for others.
What skills do you have?
What can you create?
Who would you give it to?
In both stories each gift was made for one, before it was given to all.
Which means..
you can start small.
Who is your one?
We need to feel you
Charles sent me a message yesterday.
He said it was urgent.
And so I opened..
“Giving Season is here.”
My first thought..
“Aren’t we always in giving season?”
To ourselves and/or others?
What about..
Better Giving Season is here..
or
Giving Better Season is here..
To ourselves and others.
You know how you’re so used to doing something, you forget to evaluate how well you’re doing it?
If it’s always giving season, yet we never evaluate our giving..
No wonder our giving becomes mundane.
Boring. Regular. Casual.
Same old. Same old.
It doesn’t change anyone, or anything.
Point taken.
We give regularly. ✅
Our giving is as casual as putting on a pair of khakis. ✅
Some old tricks still work. ✅
Yet, we’re not in the clear if our giving is boring, regular, casual, or old.
It doesn't pay just to give..
Our giving deserves..
New. Exciting. Fresh. Better.
And since there is always room for better, so too will our giving be..
P.S. If Charles Schwab was right about anything - the message of giving is urgent.
Thee question of every holiday season.
You know the question. You’ve heard asked it a million times. You’ve asked it a million more.
It comes up every single year. You spend more time thinking about it than you probably want to. You ask others for their opinion. Sometimes it even stresses you out.
So here are a few ideas:
Give what you believe.
Which means you first have to be clear on what you believe.
How should the world be? What are your vibrating values?
For example: If you believe everyone should have access to clean water you might give support a charity that supports what you believe.
Here’s another:
Give what they believe.
This works well for those who have everyTHING.
For example: Your boss has all the things. But she is currently looking for volunteers to help her feed the homeless in the neighborhood she grew up in. You might give your time to something she believes. (Everyone should have access to food)
Here’s another:
Give a gift that increases in value.
We’ve all heard of an investment buy. Things that increase in value over time.
Well what about an investment gift? A gift that increases in value over time?
For example:
The one child you volunteered and mentored is now mentoring other children. And soon those children will become something they would have never become if you never made that initial investment that is now increasing over time.
What should I give?
Or maybe even better..
What can I give?
Ya, even on Halloween
Way back in 2022 I took a podcasting workshop.
The BIG idea of the workshop was that in less than three months you’d have your podcast published.
But I didn’t want my own podcast. Still, I figured I’d join anyway and learn all I could.
60 seconds.
That’s all it took.
My biggest gain.
My biggest win.
And then I met the podcasting wizard that is Craig Constantine.
Inside of The Podcasting Workshop was a category.
“One Minute A Day”
The BIG idea - record yourself for just one minute a day.
One minute? That’s it? I could do that.
And I did..
fall in love..
with the journey.
And Craig was someone who helped deepen that love.
Not only does Craig have his own podcast, but he's also like a coach of sorts, and he’d been a part of the workshop for multiple sessions. And ultimately, he is, a gem dropping..
Remarkable.
Craig and I caught up recently and it led to his idea.
Me as a guest on his podcast.
BIG for me.
In 28 minutes, you’ll hear Craig and I discuss:
Generosity in podcasting
My daily writing challenges
What would happen if I just sat in discomfort for a little longer
You’ll also hear me laughing.
A lot.
Like when discussing why my big ol’ 6’3 250+lb behind was in a clothing closet at my father’s house.
Treat yourself, don't cheat yourself.
And hopefully you’ll laugh as much as I did.
P.S. And since it’s Halloween, here’s another super fun/helpful fact/treat people mention to me all the time. One that doesn’t exist without 60 seconds.
Favorite Topic Ever- Nobody
It’s easier once you start.
It’s harder once you stop.
(Oh the joys of commitment!)
For the last three + years I’ve been committed to a book club.
But not just any book club.
I’ve been committed to buying, reading, and sharing insights.
Showing up, committed to learning.
For myself, and others.
What a gift.
You probably didn’t know this but..
I had the privilege of being a guest on Holly’s podcast- Cultures Within Capitalism.
(Juicy title. I know.)
And by now you’ve probably guessed..
We had a juicy conversation as well.
Some of the juice is about commitment.
And the biggest lesson I learned after spending a week with a couple married for 57 years.
And then there’s plenty of juice I’ve never shared publicly like..
The next project I’m working on.
The one book I’ve never finished that changed my life forever.
My mother, the playwright and director and what that meant for me.
What kickstarted my now three year coaching journey for one of the most prestigious online learning platforms, founded by one of the most respected entrepreneurs ever.
And about me leaving the church founded by my grandmother, the only church I’ve known for the last 22 years.
How did Holly do it?
She asked?
And in return I saw things about my life that I never thought of, and or connected.
What a gift.
Toward the end you’ll hear Holly ask..
me to share some advice. And as fate would have it, the advice is so powerful I need to listen..
P.S. If you assumed a podcast with capitalism in its title would at least talk about business. You are right.
(Like the trick restaurants play to get more money from you.)
And how similar marriage is to business. + How similar they are not.
(Wait, is marriage a business?)
You probably never knew
Kaizen.
A compound of two Japanese words that together translate as “good change” or “improvement.”
“Continuous improvement” = “Getting a little better all the time”
Many books are read, many workshops taken, and many seminars are attended, in the name of Kaizen.
I like to think of giving in the same way.
Our giving can make good change and improvement in us, and in the areas we choose to give to.
If we decide to be givers, and if we are going to give, why not do it with a Kaizen mindset?
Continuously improving.
Getting a little better all the time.
Giving better doesn’t mean giving more.
Giving better could mean the heart you give with.
It could mean who you give to and when.
Our continuous improvement means things around us continuously improve.
The good change that happens in us, is the good change that happens around us.
A little better all the time.
Happy Kaizen.
🥂
Generosity comes before growth
Generosity comes before growth.
It’s true. I checked the dictionary.
I often hear of schools closing because of lack of funds. I wonder how generous they’d been to their community, staff, students, and parents.
I often hear of businesses struggling financially. I wonder how generous they are to their community, staff, and customers.
I often see churches praying to the heavens for their church to grow. I wonder how generous they are to their community, attendees, volunteers, and staff.
Generosity comes before growth.
It could be the reason you grow or the reason you don’t.
It could be the reason you stay open or the reason you don't.
Everyone was doing it
A few days ago I ended The Daily Tithe with this imagination..
“Imagine a world where generosity is so commonplace, no one expects a reward.”
Which led me to thinking..
Could scarcity & surprise be the very reason generosity is special?
Would a world where everyone was always generous rob generosity of its power & essence?
Would it be the same if everyone was doing it?
Is it special because “No one does this around here.”
Or
Is it special because “No one does this for me.”
Could it be both?
“I’m surprised by how scarce it is towards all of us & I’m surprised by how scarce it is towards me.”
If any of this is true, that would mean you have the ability to do rare, special, & powerful things.
It would mean you could be so unique that you would surprise a lot of people.
And it would mean your essence could be so scarce that everyone would love being in your presence.
Not because you’re doing what everyone is doing, rather because you’re not.