How Does It Feel?

No, not D’Angelo’s song. 

I’m talking me as a kid on Fordham Road at the Payless Store. 

“How does it feel?”

The question my mom would ask as I tried on new footwear. 

She would ask where my big toe was as she pressed the front of my shoe. 

“Walk in them, let me see, are they comfortable?” 

Trying things on is a gift. 

I can’t be 100% sure if these will fit me, but I’ll never know until I try them on.

I’m not stuck, I don’t have to keep them.

“They too tight, uncomfortable?, ok try these” - Mom

The gift of trying things on is an opportunity to be real with ourselves. 

Are these uncomfortable because they are new and I need to break them in? (practice)

Or are these uncomfortable because they don’t fit me. (not for me)

When newness comes she usually brings discomfort along with her. The job is deciding which discomfort is worth it. 

(Full disclaimer: I’ve worn plenty of shoes that didn’t fit because I deemed them worth it. (silly me)

The more we are real with ourselves as we try things on, the more we can see ourselves. 

I like this. I don’t like this.

I don’t like how these look on me. 

Yet often, there is more truth to discover.

I don’t like how I would look in front of my “friends” in these.

Yup, sometimes I would lie. I would say the shoe was uncomfortable when really it was me that was uncomfortable. I was uncomfortable wearing payless shoes in front of my “friends”. 

Are the shoes uncomfortable or we just don’t feel comfortable in the shoes?

What about the work we do? Our dreams, our goals? 

Uncomfortable or uncomfortable doing it in front of our friends, family, and co-workers?   

The gift of trying things on: If we are honest we might see that more times than not we are afraid, and what really hurts is our big toe ego. 

But might the discomfort be worth it? 

Try it on.

How does it feel? 

P.S. Trying things on might be the process in which we choose. It’s a choice, whether we try it on or we don’t.

P.P.S. You might not have noticed, but yesterday after we spoke about choosing, I chose a more accurate title to describe my thoughts. Oh the irony, or maybe I was  trying it on.